Don't Be A Chicken
I was recently talking with a friend who manages a team for a Department of Defense contractor. He shared a frustration I’ve heard many times before: one of his newer team members — someone who was supposed to be a "rockstar" — wasn’t performing up to expectations.
He was already talking about firing him and starting over.
I asked him a simple question:
"Have you talked to him about your expectations?"
The answer? No.
I followed up:
"Have you coached him on where he needs to improve?"
Again: No.
Here’s the thing: We sometimes convince ourselves that firing someone is the courageous thing to do. That cutting ties quickly shows we’re decisive leaders. But in many cases, it’s just the opposite.
Firing someone without ever setting clear expectations or offering real coaching isn’t leadership — it’s cowardice.
The hard thing, the thing that requires real leadership skill, is having honest conversations. It's setting expectations early and clearly. It’s giving regular feedback — not just when something goes wrong, but also when things are going right.
Coaching isn’t a one-time event. It's a steady, ongoing conversation. Great managers give feedback constantly, reinforcing the behaviors they want to see and correcting the ones they don't — in real time, with clarity and respect.
When you avoid these conversations, you aren’t "being tough." You’re being a chicken.
And in the long run, your team — and your leadership credibility — will suffer for it.
Here’s a simple truth:
If your team doesn’t know where they stand, that’s on you, not them.
Before you fire someone, ask yourself:
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Have I set clear, measurable expectations?
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Have I provided regular, specific feedback?
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Have I given them the coaching and tools they need to succeed?
If the answer to any of those questions is no, it's time to have the hard conversation — before you reach for the easy exit.
And honestly, one of the biggest reasons leaders don't do this is because they think it takes too much time. But...this is the most important work. If you can't build and maintain a successful team, what else is there?
Real leaders don’t hide behind terminations. They lean into conversations.
Don’t be a chicken.
Ryan Giles
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