Stop Asking For Feedback

feedback leadership management
advice sign

When you're trying to improve a project, an idea, or even yourself, the instinct is to ask for feedback.

But here’s the problem:
Feedback invites judgment. Advice invites partnership.

When you ask someone for "feedback," they instinctively put on their critic hat. They start scanning for what’s wrong. Even if they care about you, most people either sugarcoat their response or offer vague, unhelpful comments.

If you really want insights that move the needle, there’s a smarter approach:
Ask for advice.

Why Advice Works Better Than Feedback

🔹 People are wired to give advice.
It feels good to be asked for input. It signals respect.
When you ask someone for advice, you’re inviting them to be a collaborator, not a reviewer. That shift makes them more engaged and more likely to offer thoughtful, useful input.

🔹 Advice feels less confrontational.
Most people don’t enjoy pointing out flaws—it feels uncomfortable.
But when you ask for advice, you're asking them to help you build rather than tear down. It lowers the emotional barrier and encourages honesty without awkwardness.

🔹 Advice leads to action.
Vague feedback like “It’s good” or “Could use work” isn’t helpful.
Advice naturally points toward next steps: “You might want to tighten up this section,” or “Have you considered adding this?”
It gives you something concrete to work with, not just opinions to interpret.


Simple Rule:

  • Feedback invites critique.

  • Advice invites collaboration.

If you want better answers, frame better questions.

Next time you're seeking input, don’t ask, "Can you give me feedback?"
Ask, "What advice would you give me to make this better?"
You’ll be amazed at the difference.

Shoutout to Daniel Pink

Ryan Giles

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